This past Wednesday, March 30th, I decided to change my hair color from platinum blonde to silver/grey.
So today I went to Walmart for the first time since having my hair colored grey. I’m not surprised to say that it turned into a bit of a social experiment, but what did surprise me were the results of my hour of grocery shopping at Walmart. I felt remarkably objectified. People were literally walking around me and talking to one another about me like I was a statue that wasn’t capable of hearing them. Things like, “That bitch must be crazy,” and “Mommy she doesn’t look old enough to have grey hair.” But there were also older women who stopped me and told me that they thought it was a beautiful color and that they could only hope that they would grey to this shade as they aged. Men, both black and white, seemed to only stare while black women seemed to speak loudly ‘behind my back’ once they had gawked and passed me by.
I have absolutely no issue with being gawked at. I have no fucks to give. But what TRULY gets under my skin is that anyone on this planet thinks they have any right to judge another human being based on their looks. Above that is that they have the motherfucking gall to open their mouths and speak the words that they were thinking. I’m lucky enough to have the strength to look past negative people that would bring me down and keep my confidence and self-esteem high. Insults and snide remarks merely piss me off, but do nothing to diminish my confidence or my view of myself. But it makes me so fucking mad to think that these remarks, if said to someone else who changed their appearance who may also be having the worst time of their life could have heard these negative remarks and chosen to end their life. Did you hear me? END THEIR LIFE. Because someone opened their mouth and spoke some kind of judgment that was not their place to cast.
People absolutely amaze me. The next time you open your mouth with the intent of speaking some kind of genuine cruelty, please stop and fucking think if you would want someone to say it to you about your hair or your clothes or your teeth or makeup choice.
Because once you say something, you can’t backspace or erase what you said or the damage it does. It’s there and it’s very seldom forgotten by the person who heard it.
Sticks and stones can break your bones but words can do a lot of fucking damage too.
Try to remember that.