Caiti's Crossing

I’ve never been an ill person. I’ve never had a terrible disease. I’ve never had the flu.

I have had mononucleosis, tonsillitis, eosinophilic esophagitis, and multiple colds and bouts of ‘crud’ and shitty seasonal allergies.

There are few things that can wholly consume my mind and emotions and mental state and  that list includes:

• Jealousy/Relationship threats
• Worry for the safety of someone/something that I love dearly
• Finances

All of these things can easily tie for first, when I’m not fighting off thirsty hoes or worrying about something else, I’m a PRISTINE bookkeeper. I tend to spend a fair amount of money, but I always have things covered.

I have a checking account that’s attached to a debit card, three savings accounts, and two credit cards (Discover and Victoria’s Secret). I have a general savings account that I put my extra money into each month, a savings account for a year long savings plan, and a savings account to hold the funds for each monthly credit card payment. Things work out well.

But Lord have mercy on whoever I interact with if anything goes wrong with my finances. I lose my mind. I get stress knots in my neck and shoulders and kind of become erratic and pretty irritable until my problem is solved.

Currently, I work part time at an advertising firm and because I’m part time and my hours could vary from week to week, I am not in the automatic direct deposit payroll system. There are five people that work in this firm including myself and my boss and all other employees are full time.

Once, my boss forgot to enter my hours into the payroll system which meant I wouldn’t get paid until several days later. This blew my mind. How do you forget to pay an employee? That’s a whole separate post.

I remember going home that day a complete and total wreck. My boss had made an attempt at resolving the issue on the spot by cutting me a check for my payment that day, which I deposited but would still not receive in my account until two days later because my bank is slower than molasses with processing transactions. This upset me so badly because when I plan to remove debt and pay bills, I need things to be in order. Not late. Not two days later. But on time. I go out of my way to make sure things happen when and how they’re expected to happen. I suppose it’s too much to expect the same from everyone else.

Never before had I realized what financial instability could do to a person until that week. I was on pins and needles until things got back in order so that I could pay my bills before they were late or overdue. But it was almost as if I’d had this scaly detestable monster finding its way out of my brain to show me what hell was like.

And I haven’t even had a full time job yet. I can only imagine how horrifying this will be once I have more than credit card bills and car notes… I suppose as long as my income isn’t jeopardized, there’s nothing to worry about.